


That's Why I Love You

by YourEyesHoldTheGalaxy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-it Notes, reunited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 18:02:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7902412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourEyesHoldTheGalaxy/pseuds/YourEyesHoldTheGalaxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan shouldn’t have made fun of the sticky notes Phil had bought, but hey, he doesn’t really mind them now.<br/>Or the one where Phil finds the perfect use for those sticky notes Dan laughed at him for buying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Why I Love You

 

_\-------------_

_If we let them take us away, we have nothing. I never realized that life is worth living until you. If you’re not in my life, I won't live it. It’s dumb I know, trust me, it’s the most clichéd thing ever. The Romeo and Juliet classic. However, it’s the truth. Before you I didn’t want to get up, face the day, smile, laugh, **survive** , but with you, that all comes easily. This isn’t a moment where I beg you to stay and force you to because you feel guilty. You’re not even planning on leaving while I’m writing this, or at least I hope not. This is a confession. This is the truth. I had always heard that in order for you to love someone, you must love yourself first, but that’s not the case. I never have loved myself, but you, oh god, I love you so much, Phil, I forgot what hating myself felt like. But now? You’re going to leave, I know that, I’m not dumb, depressed sure, but not dumb._

_They are getting close to finding out. Are you ready? We’ve hidden it for six and a half years. The only years that have mattered to me. I truly lived in those years. You gave me everything I have, indirectly at the very least. Among them are our midnight chats and three am kisses. Our morning breath make outs, our sweaty hands clasped together. Our witty banter, or our lame jokes. Our I love yous’ and our movie nights. I’m not trying to get you to stay if you don’t want too, I’m just trying to tell you what I feel. I know that’s not enough, but it was for those amazing fantastic six years. Maybe I’m not good enough, because after all, I don’t have anything to offer. I just want you to know, I love you and I just want you to be happy, I’ll get over it if that’s what you want. I just love you so much, I’m sorry._

_God, I’m so sorry for whatever I did, hell it could have been a lot I did. I’m sorry if I hurt you in anyway, it was never my intention. I’m shit at this really, you know that, I’m not sure how you ever let me write in our book, what I’m trying to say, jokes aside, is that I really do love you, more than you could possibly understand or feel for me, and I just want you to know that I’m glad I spent my prime years with you, even if you are leaving, I’m glad you gave me six plus years of happiness, I’m glad you gave me you for a bit._

\- _Dan_

* * *

 

When I opened up the document entitled ‘In Case of Worst Case Scenario Break Glass’ I didn’t expect a letter addressed to me. I scanned the document once more, analyzing every bit and piece. I felt tears beginning to form in the corners of my eyes, threatening to run down my checks. I can’t believe he wrote out something to say if I ever choose to leave, come to think of it, I hope he doesn’t think I would ever want to leave him. He’s my bear, and I’m his cuddle buddy, among other _things._ It dawns on me after reading it for the tenth time that it was his “Worst Case Scenario” which makes my heart flutter and do flips. I so badly want to hug him, but he’s away filming something with Radio 1. I sit in our office for a bit longer, trying to decide my plan of action to respond. Wait, should I respond, I was snooping on the computer after all. Would Dan be mad at me? No, well….. maybe, but not much right? I mean I’m sure I could get on his good side again. I settle on a text to him, but I won’t tell him I found this adorable yet heartbreaking document.

To: Dan (Bear)

_ello how’s filming treating my bear?_

_Sent 10:27pm_

Figuring I won’t get a reply due to his probable busyness, I return my phone to my back pocket, exit the word document, and shut down the computer. I stand from our desk chair and feel a vibration in my back pocket, grinning seeing the name on my phone. I unlock it straight away.

From: Dan (Bear)

_filming’s fine, lonely though, i miss you Xx_

_Sent 10:28pm_

I smile slightly at his reply, feeling a pang of disappointment in my chest due to the distance. We’ve had a distance greater than this when we were first starting out, but it was different. We have grown accustomed to hugs and cuddles every minute of every day if we desired, never leaving each other’s side if we chose, so the distance was strange and created a horrible sinking feeling. I so badly want to hug him and just be near him in all honesty. I may seem to cope better than Dan, but I’m not that good at being home alone. I reply almost instantly.

To: Dan (Bear)

_i’m missing you too Dan home soon though, then we can cuddle. Xx (maybe even watch some movies and have popcorn) :)_

_Sent 10:28pm_

I return my phone to my pocket once again, and this time head towards the door, wondering how in the world I could possibly let Dan know I read that and have him not yell at me for it. I make it half way to our lounge before my phone is going off again, causing a small smile to appear on my face.

From: Dan (Bear)

_i’d like that, i have to get back to this thing i love you, text you later kay? Xx_

_Sent 10:31pm_

I frown slightly realizing he has to go, wanting him to desperately stay, feeling the distance kick in all over again.

To: Dan (Bear)

_the sooner you get to work the sooner you’ll be home and cuddling with me ;) i love you text you later Bear Xxxx (sending you kisses from home, keep um in your pocket, use in case you get a boo boo)_

_Sent 10:31pm_

****Two Days Later****

Maybe I went a lil’ bit overboard, but hey, it was Dan’s fault for

a) Being away from me

b) Making that document

c) Making fun of the sticky notes

d) Just because he’s Dan

Yes, I know maybe using a tad too many sticky notes over every surface of our flat was a bit extreme, but I don’t care. My bear is coming home today and I need to make sure he knows that I love him so much and very deeply, too deeply to choose to leave, ever. I mean even if he wanted me to leave, I wouldn’t. (I’m joking of course….kinda…only slightly…..okay I’m not, I’m never leaving him).

He’s due home in a few minutes so I scurry up the stairs and hide myself away in our room, hoping he’ll see the notes, but if I’m honest I don’t think he could miss them.

\----

Dan struggles to get the key in the lock while balancing his suitcase in the same hand. Dropping them for the fifth time before he manages to actually open the flat door. _Where’s Phil anyway, he’d normally be at the door with his arms wide open, ready for cuddles._ Dan thinks while his mind races to the worse possible ideas, his stomach sinks even deeper when he closes the door behind him, not seeing Phil in sight.

“Phil?” Dan calls out into the flat, receiving no reply of any kind.

Dan drops his suitcase on the ground right by the door, catching something in the corner of his eye. It’s a sticky note. Phil’s writing is scribbled onto the notes he picked up while they were in Japan. Dan smiles slightly thinking of the trip he and Phil shared. His heart prepared for the worst, while his mind hoped for the best.

_1._ _hiya bear_

Dan chuckled slightly at the small note, before seeing a small number in the bottom left hand corner. It was a one. _Why would Phil number these things?_ Dan wondered only to be cut short as he saw another, inches away.

_2._ _you made fun of me for buying these_

Dan read the second, again marked with a number on the bottom corner. He looked up and noticed that there were notes all over. They lined the railings, the door ways, the doors, the stairs, all over. One after another, leading him somewhere. He chuckled, realizing the game. He gave in and began to pick them up and follow the trail.

_3._ _you said how was I going to use them all_

_4._ _well here's how_

_5._ _i_

_6._ _plan_

_7._ _on_

_8._ _writing_

_9._ _a_

_10._ _note_

_11._ _on all of them_

_12._ _just for you._

_13._ _Because Dan_

_14._ _I love you_

Dan smiled at the notes as he read them over and over again, with the growing need to smother Phil in kisses.

_15._ _I know you're gonna be a lil mad though_

_16._ _I may have accidently found something on the office computer_

Dan’s face heated up with embarrassment as he knew what Phil had meant, and he was slightly angry for Phil snooping, but more so embarrassed.

_17._ _So I wanted to show you that I love you_

_18._ _And heres the start of that_

_19._ _I love you because…._

_20._ _your smile is pretty_

_21._ _you have pretty eyes_

_22._ _you make me laugh_

_23._ _you joke with me_

_24._ _you have a cute butt_

_25._ _you have dimples and who could deny those_

_26._ _you let me call you bear_

_27._ _you put up with me_

_28._ _you try for me_

_29._ _I love you because you make me happy_

_30._ _you kick my ass at Mario kart_

_31._ _of the way you look at me as if im your world_

_32._ _even though im not, if anything youre mine_

_33._ _your laugh differs based on the situation_

_34._ _for instance when you laugh during a video_

_35._ _I love you because its different from your laugh when we cuddle_

_36._ _you make me feel safe_

_37._ _you gave me a life I never dreamed of having_

_38._ _you stayed strong_

_39._ _you believed in me_

_40._ _you forgive me when im in the wrong_

_41._ _youre a giant nerd_

_42._ _you saved me just as much as I saved you_

_43._ _youre a meme_

_44._ _I love you because we survived 2012 (not even about the world ending, but maybe our world ending)_

_45._ _you are there for me_

_46._ _I love you because you have a good sense of humor_

By this point Dan had made it all the way up to the lounge door, which was closed and had a single sticky note on it, as did every step on the way up to it. Dan’s hands were over flowing with sticky notes, so he began putting them in his pockets.

47\. _I love you because we created a home together_

Dan smiled at the cheesy note, feeling his heart beat faster for no apparent reason. He opened the door, expecting Phil to be sat behind it, beaming from ear to ear, waiting to give him a hug. But, when Dan opened the door, there was no Phil. Dan was, instead, greeted by more sticky notes, still pointing towards somewhere. He rolled his eyes and continued picking them up, and undoubtedly smiling at each, before placing them in his pocket.

_48._ _I love you because when im with you I feel like im home_

_49._ _it doesn’t matter where I am all I need is my bear_

_50._ _I love you because of your style_

_51._ _you’re beautiful_

_52._ _you love me_

_53._ _you make me need you_

_54._ _I love you because you are honestly so funny_

_55._ _of the feel of your arms around me_

_56._ _I love you because of the feel of your hand running up and down my back_

_57._ _of your heart eyes_

_58._ _I love you because of ‘I’ll edit that bit out’s_

Dan had reached the hall towards their bedrooms, which where both closed, he smiled, taking in all the love he felt on him and for Phil. His mind was taking its time reading each note, smiling at it. He picked up one after another, feeling hopelessly in love after each.

_59._ _I love you because_

_60._ _of your vibe_

_61._ _the way you call me stupid names_

_62._ _like spork or spoon_

_63._ _you’re a star_

_64._ _I love you because you care about me_

_65._ _you stayed through the bad times_

_66._ _you put your arms around me and I feel at home_

_67._ _of how you love_

_68._ _I love you because of how you cook_

_69._ _I love you because I don’t care where we are, as long as I get to see you_

_70._ _I just want it to be you and I forever_

_71._ _I just want to hold you in my arms_

_72._ _I love you because you let me cuddle you on the sofa even when im sick_

_73._ _of how you take sneaky photos of me_

_74._ _I love you because you trust me_

_75._ _of how you bake_

_76._ _I love you because of how cute you look with curly hair_

Dan was now an arm’s reach away from their bedroom door, only a few notes left to go and maybe, just maybe, he’d finally get to smother Phil in loads of kisses.

_77._ _I love you because of how you love me with my glasses on_

_78._ _of how you make me feel_

_79._ _of how you joke_

_80._ _I love you because of how you have me as your background_

_81._ _of how we roll in the snow together_

_82._ _I love you because of how you hold my hand_

Dan slowly opened the door leading into their bedroom, well ‘Phil’s’ bedroom, and saw no Phil inside. Dan frowned wondering where in the hell Phil was, he’d been staying so silent this whole time. None the less, more sticky notes were placed all over their room, so Dan began carrying on with his previous action of collecting the heartfelt notes.

_83._ _I love you because you and me are so much alike, yet different_

_84._ _of_ _the way you inspire me with your thoughts and emotions_

_85._ _I love you because of the way you snuggle up to me in the middle of the night_

_86._ _of the way you can speak your mind_

_87._ _I love you because of the way you get my attention_

_88._ _I love you because of the way I can so easily make you fall for me_

“That lil shit.” Dan uttered out loud as he picked up the note from his pillow on his side of their bed. He laughed at it though, because it was true, Dan was so easily in love with Phil that it was scary to most people, but not to Dan, because Phil would never hurt him on purpose. He still had a lot left in the room to collect, so he carried on.

_89._ _I love you because of the way you rub your eyes like a child_

_90._ _of the way you care so much about me_

_91._ _I love you because of the way you’re not embarrassed to call me cute names in front of our friends_

_92._ _of the way you look after I say ‘I love you’_

_93._ _I love you because how you rarely say ‘I love you too’ and reply with I love you instead_

_94._ _I can never hate you_

_95._ _I love you because we play stupid games together_

_96._ _we are each other’s other half_

_97._ _I love you because you’re phil trash #1 (im sorry I had too)_

_98._ _you can’t stay mad at me_

_99._ _I love you because you sing in the shower and I sign along_

_100._ _I love you because of the way you’re so comfortable around me_

_101._ _you stare at me as if im the sexiest guy in the universe (im not, you are)_

_102._ _you can make my heart stop with a kiss_

_103._ _I love you because of how you kissed me first_

_104._ _I love you because we worry about the others safety over our own_

_105._ _you rub my back as I fall asleep when im stressed_

_106._ _of the way you blindly follow me_

_107._ _I love you because of the way you stay by my side in a crowded room_

_108._ _I wake up by your side everyday_

_109._ _you hate driving to places separately_

_110._ _I love you because you try and make me feel better_

_111._ _of the way your skin feels against mine_

_112._ _you let me and only me touch your neck_

_113._ _of the things you tell me and only me_

_114._ _I love you because of the way I see the galaxies in your eyes_

_115._ _of your guilty smile_

_116._ _I love you because of your angry face_

_117._ _I love you because you aren’t embarrassed in front of me_

_118._ _of the first hug we had_

_119._ _I love you because of the hours of skype calls_

_120._ _of how long it takes us to say goodbye._

_121._ _I love you because I wanna be the one who holds you as you sleep_

_122._ _I love you because of how jealous you get_

_123._ _because you saved me_

_124._ _because you are mine_

_125._ _I love you because I am yours_

Dan was now outside the room once again, only now spotting the hidden ones, pointing to the door to his old room, he smacked his head thinking of how stupid he must be to not have thought that Phil would be in a place that reminded him of Dan. He picked up the lonely three notes, reading them and smiling while blushing slightly.

_126._ _I love you because no matter what you love me too_

_127._ _I love you because of the feel of your lips on mine_

_128._ _I love you because of all that we’ve been through_

Dan opened up the door, finally seeing the person he’d not properly seen in days. As he approached Phil who was beaming from ear to ear whilst sat crisscross on his old bed. Phil stood up as Dan raced to hug him. They collided harshly but nether cared, they were together again. Dan squeezed his boyfriend with all his might, hoping that it would convey all he wanted to say. He pulled his head back and kissed his boyfriend with all the love he felt for him. It ended almost as soon as it began when Phil pulled back and chuckled lightly.

“Why are you laughing?” Dan asked cautiously, hoping that all of this wasn’t a joke, even if that was doubtful. Instead of replying audibly, Phil pulled out two sticky notes, one on top of the other, he held them out for Dan. Dan took them and held them out so he could read them.

_129._ _the reason I love you is you_

_130._ _that’s why I love you_

Dan smiled at Phil’s words and then Phil pulled him in again for a kiss that last much longer this time. Dan placed his arms around Phil’s neck and Phil pulled Dan in by his waist. The loved filled kissed ended when the two love birds came up for air. They leaned against each other’s foreheads, breathing heavily, staring into the other’s eyes that they missed so much. Phil took a deep breath and giggled a little bit.

“I love you more than you could ever know.” Phil said bumping Dan’s nose with his own. Dan chuckled pulling Phil in for a quick kiss.

“I think I have a pretty good idea.” Dan said, kissing his boyfriend again, finally feeling at home again, letting the reasons why Phil loves him sink in as they make up for lost time.

A short time later, they are on the sofa together, tangled up with a bowl of popcorn on the floor and a movie playing in the background, smiling as they tell the other more reasons why they love each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Fun fact I wrote this the day the Japan haul video came out, yeah that long ago.   
> If you have any suggestion on what I should write next let me know!  
> Kudos/comments always make me smile!  
> Tumblr: @dilisinlove


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